How To Bend Reality
How to get more favorable outcomes, even when it doesn’t look like that.
Today we talk about one mind tactic that would help you get much better results in most of your transactions.
But before that, let's consider the River of Opportunities. Imagine our world is a river — and we all swim in it. In this river we would have three categories of people:
There are people who don't put too much effort into where they're going in the river. They're floating to wherever the currents of the river take them. The river takes them from one shore to another, and if they happen to bump into a raft — they might try to get on it.
There are some people who are actively looking for interesting things and swim in that direction. They don’t have a clear idea of where they’re going and they keep swimming from one thing to another. If they see someone building a raft — they will try to get on that raft or build a raft of their own.
Only a few people would choose their own direction, collect pieces of wood floating in the river, build a raft and would sail it in the chosen direction.
The difference between these groups is of course defined by the degree of Mental Agency. Low Agency people are influenced by whatever happens in their life, while High Agency People are trying to be the ones who influence other things and people.
Typically High Agency people choose the path of personal growth through self-development, physical and mental exercise and as a consequence, they are more accomplished, successful and happier.
What is interesting is that the difference between these types of people is based on a single core belief: “The world is what it is” vs “I can change the world”.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right,”
— Henry Ford
In the modern world, you often can find yourself in a situation where somebody else gives you options to choose from.
When we are presented with a list of options, our Default Mode of the Social Contract is to pick one from the list. Even when all the options are far from great, they’re typically different from each other, so that one is better than another, which gives an Illusion of Control.
However, in many situations there is room for a much better option, that’s not on the list. The definite set of the presented options only makes it look like there is nothing else, and that makes a lot of people automatically “close the door” for all other possibilities.
But if you’re subscribed to the idea of “I can change the world” — you can always consider a possibility to ask for other options, or even suggest your own.
For example, you’re buying something more or less expensive and there is a salesperson who is collecting your wishes and presenting you with different options. Typically you will be given the time and date when it will be delivered, and the total price for the order. Instead of directly agreeing to what is being offered it is almost always a good idea to ask for a discount, and even take a few minutes to find out what is the maximum discount they can give.
Or, you decide to sign up for a gym, but there are just two options around where you live — one is very expensive and another one is too far to go there often. However, there is always another option — you don’t need a gym to stay in shape, you can go jogging in the neighbourhood and get some dumbbells to use at home.
Or, let’s say you receive an important contract, with just the two options: take it or leave it.
In most cases, the person on the other side of the transaction is interested in signing this contract as much as you are. So if the contract doesn’t look great from the very beginning it’s almost always worth it to suggest your changes for some conditions in the contract, or even make your own edits and send it back, thus creating your own option.
“Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.”
— Steve Jobs
Once you understand that you can find and create your own options, you will look at the world in a completely different way.
Question everything. Create your own options. Get better outcomes.
Until next time 👋